For almost 8 years, I have been mired in a wave of guilt about my weight and my relationship, my grief over the loss of my parents, the different levels of disarray at my work space, my finances, my apartment, and even in my career. With all of these “issues”, I realize that while I still consider myself a comedian, I have not been true and honest to the craft itself. I have been working a job in radio that I adore, and it is hard to be up all night in a comedy club, and then be on the air at 7 am, ready to entertain and inform the masses. I am not complaining about the gig itself, but in order to do it with any level of professionalism and panache, there has to be sacrifice. Also, there is a level of expression, as well as a level of reaction that performing as a comedian in front of a live audience allows me to have that I do not necessarily have in radio. I have missed it.
This
week marks the beginning of a new year.
As many people do, the resolutions are flowing. Being like most people at this time of the
year, I have made them, broken them, and tried again to work with them. Upon our return to the air this week, my host
proposed a challenge. Instead of the
long laundry lists of things to resolve in 2014, simplify everything to just
one word that will focus your motivation to do something. After many calls from our listeners, many
words were thrown out in the ether like “Patience”, “Exercise”, “Portion”,
“Size”, and “Me”. Each word came with a
beautiful testimonial as to “why” these words meant something to them. As I
continued to screen the many phone calls, I started to think about what my word
will be when my host finally turned the table to me. I thought long and hard, and then it came to
me. The word is COMEDY.
As
I continue to ponder why COMEDY was the word that came to me, the epiphany
followed. While I was performing on a
more regular basis, I was conscious about working out and eating right, because
it feeds my need to do COMEDY onstage, and I want to look and feel my
best. I paid closer attention to my
finances and home life; because I wanted to be mentally present to do COMEDY,
as those things can be a major distraction.
I always maintained my job performance when I knew that I had a COMEDY
gig, because I did not want anything to stop the gig from being
successful. In my relationship, which is
a new part of my life, I have to manage it way better than I have in order to
keep doing COMEDY. As one can see,
COMEDY is, for a lack of a better term, the through line of my life.
At
the urging of my partner, many friends, and a major promise to God, I have
finally started working and shaping my second one man show, Ebony Chunky Love:
Heartaches and Hard Ons. As ridiculous
or lewd as the title may seem, it encapsulates some great moments of honesty,
humor, and the silver linings that surround a few dark clouds of my life. It can also be viewed as a cautionary tale
for the truly adventurous. In any case,
it is me regaining my focus on COMEDY.
Please join me on this journey to make this happen. If you can contribute, then I will be
thrilled. If you can’t, then can you
please spread the word? Every dollar
counts, no matter who sends it.
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