Happy Birthday to me. I am finally at an age where I can no longer hide with a simple bald head and being clean shaven, because the body is giving away all of the clues by jacking up my knee, popping out my back, and making my neck constantly sore. There are places on my body that I didn't even know could hurt. My blood pressure is being controlled by a pill, and everyday it is a mystery to what will hurt next. I wince when I see people fall instead of laugh, because I know that at this age a fall could be a life changer, and no one wants that karma. Trust me. My bank account has been an ongoing joke that even as a comedian, I stopped finding it funny. In spite of all that complaining, I am still here. There are days that I truly cannot imagine how I have managed to survive this long, but I am here.
I can tell you that there is a testimony to living with good intentions. I have had days when I actually felt there were no more options. On one of those days, it took a visit from an old college friend to show me the power of prayer, and the power of real friendship. I told her nothing about what was happening in my life because of personal embarrassment. The shame of my friend the doctor finding out that there were 2 nickels that I was furiously rubbing together in my pocket, after what had been a stellar career in radio and a few moderate hits as a comedian would have been too much for my pride. Without uttering a word, she just kindly slipped me a check, and told me that somehow she just knew. I cried. Another dark moment brightened while on a phone call with an old friend from my junior high school years and in an instance I was given several shots to live with a hair more dignity. Every friend that has come to my aid has somehow been part of what seems like a gang of guardian angels. Many of them did not even have a clue to the depths that they were saving me. I thank them all so much.
When the downward spiral began, my first real long term relationship ended. My career job let me go. Trump became president. I was about to be homeless, and the first phone call to a friend, and I was able to crash and start anew. She saved me, and when that began to run its course, my cousin, who actually taught me to read along with Sesame Street, saved me. I unexpectedly met the next man, and we ended up living together. It turned out to be a man with a physical disability, strong will , and a wicked sense of humor. He helped me figure out how to manage this new phase. We became instantly close and worked together to have fun. Of course, my skittish employment was a drag until the pandemic and then life got real. God bless, vaccines, Unemployment, SNAP, Amazon Fresh (F**K you and thank you, Jeff Bezos), Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, You Tube, and my little medical knowledge. We were able to pool our resources at the time and survive multiple days without leaving the apartment and still be content. I got to write and stay on the radio from a living room in Chelsea, thanks to yet another amazing, supportive, colleague and friend.
As many COVID lockdown relationships were ending, mine held out longer than I expected. Progressively, I was becoming a nurse maid before turning 55 for someone whose health throughout the pandemic started to change, and he really did not want to get better, which would have left me taking care of someone who did not want to improve. Thank goodness, an abrupt and extremely rude breakup made a way, because I was about to be trapped into what would have most certainly been the end of creating MY Act 2. Frankly, there are 2 sides to that tale and his friends have a side, and they never asked my side. So, I am the pariah of that relationship, and I’ve decided that it was okay, because the truth always prevails. Although I was scared with no plans nor real money. Again, in one phone call to 2 friends, I had help to move my stuff, found a hotel to decompress and regroup, and a storage room. Is this another bottom? Yes, a bottom with a trap door in a universe that loves a good joke. Welcome to my Coco in FAME (1980) moment. The things that we do as performers for a buck. Thank God I put lotion those legs.
Somehow, in that time of definite uncertainty and a random conversation at a lunch at Dallas BBQ on 42nd street with a newer friend about to make her Broadway debut, I inadvertently spilled my tale of woe involving a long awaited check and the holding policy of the bank and its stress. My friend says “I have an empty living room with a fold out until we leave for Boston in 3 weeks. Just come and figure it out. In that time, I found a seemingly small side gig as an usher that has surprisingly given me new friends, a new life of experiences, and most of all it still keeps me connected to people and the world of theater in a whole new capacity. It has become another tale of an artist saying theater saved my life both figuratively and literally.
Sadly, on the eve of that new beginning, I found out two things: 1. My eldest brother who had been estranged from me since my parents died, had died himself 5 years prior and no one told me, and 2. The disabled ex had recently lost a foot to Diabetes and the choices that I tried to dissuade him from making to prevent that from happening, but his stubbornness made it impossible. Hello 55.
A year has passed and now on yet another birthday, I am finally feeling like I can truly start to rebuild my Act 2 with a lot more confidence. I am about to check in to my next usher gig with the most dangerous barber in town. It's my sixth adventure in Broadway ushering, shout out to IATSE Local 306. I'm thankful that I am again entering another birthday with a roof over my head, albeit not my permanent one yet, and I am still able to generate income, even with this tricky back and some shady knees. I am going to embrace this new year with a lot more gusto, and I am going to keep fighting to stay fabulous. I am going to get back on the comedy stage, because you know the retelling of some of those memories are going to be hilarious. I am going to continue to find ways to talk to my Broadway babies. I am still connected to the radio, so my voice is still out there, and as long as there is breath in my body and an Aleve tablet to be found, I'm still here. I thank the many, many angels that have held me up thus far. I wish that you all have angels in your life like mine.
Hey 56, how YOU doin'?
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